A Happy Thanksgiving?

HAPPY late THANKSGIVING. I know I have neglected my blog. But I've been WAY to lazy to actually write anything.
I had a surprisingly GOOD thanksgiving. Usually something has to mess up my families happiness. This year, nothing went wrong.

Black Friday was crazy. I went home at 3am cause I got really sick. I got some really good stuff at Juicy Couture and that's it.

I know I'm really boring, but I saved the next part for now....im no longer a vegetarian...guess I will have to change my Blog username....oh well.


I can't wait for Christmas. :) Later.

Really:How Stupid are you?

It has come to my attention that some people (facebook "friends") are using my blog posts against me. Saying I don't like PDA because I've never experienced it. Yeah I haven't. I've never had a boyfriend. But I don't need to justify that with you. Kiss my ass.
If you hate me so much, why the hell are you reading my posts and my facebook page. I'm an open book and I am a really good person. If you spent maybe 10 mins talking to me, you would know this.
I love my friends with all my heart. I love my family with all my heart. To bad you can't see that cause you're blinded by hatred.
I know you will read this. You are that ignorant.
Please don't judge me, cause you DON'T know me.


I do forgive you, It takes allot to hurt me.

My Little Obsession: LADY GAGA

Okay, about two years ago, lady gaga started to come in the spotlight. I knew where I belonged as soon as I heard her sing "Love Game". Her videos are always different, and ALWAYS faboosh (word stolen from Perez Hilton).
She is here to change the world one wig at a time or once meat dress at a time. She is always changing her look, because she is a performer. It's who she is.

I think it's funny when people say she's a man...okay whatever. They are ignorant and jealous. If she was a he/she who is to judge?
She rallied in Maine a few months ago, I couldn't stop watching. It was eye-opening and inspiring. "If you don't like it GO HOME" was one of her main points and I thought she was dead on right!

She will change the world...correction..she HAS changed the world.
I went to her concert in December last year and LOVED every minuted of The Monster Ball. Fabulous! The funny part was she called us San Jose instead of San Diego...haha. BUT people BOOED!! her, what the fuck?? Why would ANYONE boo her for ANY reason!!!

I have bought about 10 different t-shirts from HotTopic with her on it. My favorite is one where she is playing piano and flipping people off. LOVE!!

She makes me feel like its okay to be me. I'm happy that I can belt her music from my little red bug and I don't care if people are looking at me. Just don't crash.

I'm going with my best friend to her concert in March (the day after her bday!!). I can't wait, and I plan to wear something AMAZING!!

I have had allot of people give me crap BECAUSE I love Lady Gaga. But...i just don't give a shit.

Once at practice, my coach was speaking and you hear a cell phone go off, the ring tone was Telephone (Lady Gaga) and everyone looked at me...yes...they knew who's phone that way just by the ring tone. Sad..but Cool.

All my family know just how obsessed I am..how hooked I am.
I'm okay with that.
Love her with all my little monster heart!
<3 Live, Love, Gaga. <3

Bitter:A Life Choice

I know its been a few days since my last post, that's because I just didn't have anything to write about. Today I'm going to write out some bitter energy your way.
It seems wherever I go, there is a couple making out, hugging, touching each other oddly. I just look at them and only one thing come into my head, BLECK!
PDA is fine, if you're not ALL over each other. Holding hands, hugging is fine.
Maybe I'm just jealous...I don't know.

Today while in line (Subway), because some girl came up and kissed her man right SMACK on the lips...loudly, in front of me...you know what I did? I walked away from the line....hungry.

Throughout high school I saw my peers showing PDA with their partner...it always grossed me out. When my friends would say "get a room". I would always think how gross that saying was. Gave me bad images...

BUT I do love seeing facebook photos of a guy kissing a girl on the cheek or forehead. I think those are cute.

....Speaking of guys.
Why are they soo.....hard to understand??
One minute they are talking and flirting with you, (getting our fragile girly hearts up) then the next they are not talking to us acting like we have mad cow!
Or! When you ignore them and don't want to start a relationship with them...they want to hang out or give you their number. I get it if they wanna hang as friends..I get that.
Why when they break up with a girl, do they say "I need to find myself"??? WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT! He might as well have said, "I really just wanna fuck allot of sluts".
Guys can be such assholes.

Recycle: the truth.

I'm not going to lie, I don't recycle. I always forget to! I wish I could say that I am helping the planet...but I'm not. I use a lot of electricity at home and waist water! I'm horrible.
I wish I could find an easy way to help the planet. I give clothes away instead of throwing them away and turn the lights off when I don't need them.
Is that enough? No.
I find recycling an annoying task. I never know what is considered okay to recycle.
HELP!!! I feel bad that I'm not Eco-friendly.

Landfills makes me sick, to think we put all that shit there (no pun intended)!!!
What to do?

Addiction Sucks

As I sit, typing on this laptop, my mom is sleeping on the couch after leaving this morning to go to Oceans Eleven (casino). My mom is a gambling addict and has been for about six years now. It didn't take long for my mom to realize that she had a problem. She would go to GA meetings every week throughout my high school years.
She would "fall off the wagon" every once in a while and it seemed to happen every time around the 3 month mark.
I  also had other family members that suffered with addiction. Drugs, alcohol, and gambling seemed to be a huge problem for them to control. I've made it my life to NEVER become and addict. Which is probably why I've never had more then a sip of champagne at my grandmother's wedding (yes my grandmother's). I also never did ANY drugs and I'm almost 19 and I have never gambled (except the scratch cards). I'm afraid that this horrible disease will rub off on me.
I plan to become a psychologist and help people who suffer from addiction and eating disorders. I wanna be able to help people, when I couldn't do so growing up.
Lately I have been growing so sick of my mothers actions with gambling. She told me she doesn't think she has an addiction. Except this morning when she admits that she does (DUH!).
I know that she will always struggle with this problem. I wish I could help her. I just don't know how.

Bullying: everyone does it.

At a very young age I was a victim to bullying, but as a got older I saw myself becoming not only an enabler to bullying, but a bully myself.

First let me tell you a few stories (short..I promise):
When I was little I was unfortunate enough to have my fathers teeth...(nine years of orthodontists, after story), I was always different then my schoolmates, always striving to fit in.
I was in class drawing a picture of something, suddenly I felt a pull on my hair. A girl named Jessica threw something on my picture...what was it? It was my hair, she had scissors in her hand and laughed at me.
After a few more sad episodes at that school I was in elementary school, when a girl pulled me aside and told me how badly I needed a makeover, apparently all the boys thought so to. All I wanted to do was read my book(which was about the solar system, not homework).
Then high school...where do I start? Freshman year I bought these really cool Jean shorts that looked like something Christina Aguilera wore. I was in the bathroom stall when two bitchy girls came in (well aware that I was in there) made fun of my new Jean shorts, making me cry. I ran out quickly as they laughed, running to my friends. I took back those jeans that night.

I'm pretty sure there have been more times, I just can't remember. Along with those sad stories, I witnessed bullying and didn't stop it, until high school at least. I knew better then.
But just recently I did some mean things, mostly I was either hurt or just being bitch(which is very much not who I am.
I lost a friendship recently,which put me in a depression and I finally got over it(at least that's what I told people). She broke my heart, so I talked shit about her, cussing her out anonymously on formspring.com.
Next I posted some mean things about another girl on another site, doing this for the approval of a friend (trying to fit in, basically).

I do feel bad, I can't take back what I wrote. But I'm sorry.
A few years ago, I got anonymous messages telling me to kill myself. Telling me I was ugly,fat,etc..
I would never listen to these messages and would never write them.
My question...what if I did listen to them? Would they feel guilty?

A new beginning....?

Okay, I'm a newly high school graduate looking for her place in the world....whats new? I guess you could call me "non-social". But the Truth is....I just can't stand the people that I go to community college with.
I don't even really take the time to get to know them...but what's the point? I won't see them next semester.

I also can happily tell you that I am single (can you taste the sarcasm?) and have been for 18 years 10 months and some odd days. I'm turning 19 in February. I hate that life hasn't even begun for me yet. I hate that while I sit waiting for my stupid math class, which is THREE hours after my humanities class. Leaving me to think (which is dangerous for me) about my life and contemplate why the hell I'm not skinny.

I really love to over think everything in my boring life...which is surprisingly a lot. My face (acne), my body (fat..ish), my sex life (non-existent), my classes (humanities = the devil), my family (crazy), friendships (WW2). I know that might not seem like a lot...but for a 19 year old...it is..

I wish I could stop writing each paragraph with "I" but whatever.
I wish the world could be a better place. (e.i. gay marriage, peace, Eco-friendly lives, animal kindness.)
Yes, I am a vegetarian and proud. I was born on leap year and always get the question "so what day DO you celebrate it on?" answer: i don't really know...depends.
Even though I keep going on and on, I hope to satisfy my unfiltered and unsatisfied mind by writing in this blog. Good luck to those of you that are reading this.